Controlling Your Tongue

Scripture - James 3: 1-12

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As we heard, recently, Pope Benedict XVI is in trouble because of his controversial speech about Islam and the teaching of Mohammed. He cited a 14th-century Christian emperor who said the Prophet Mohammed had brought the world “evil and inhuman” things. The reaction of the entire Muslim world regarding the Pope’s speech was outrageous. “This quotation, unfortunately, was misunderstood,” the Pope apologized four times, the Islam world is still in angry and it seems this is not enough.

Even though he confirmed that his intension was to try to open conversation with Islam, because of Islam’s concentration on only few lines among 12 pages, the Pope stumbled in the block. This morning I don’t want to talk about whether the Pope’s comment was appropriate or not. That will be a long subject of historical and theological debate. What I want to share with you is that through this event, we can learn how powerful one word is, whether it is good or not.

How about us? Forget the Pope’s story. We seem to feel that we have the right to say anything that expresses our feelings, regardless of its impact on others. We say anything that we think will be useful, regardless of whether or not it is true. As frustrated and unhappy parents, we may vent our anger in verbal abuse of our children in ways that can permanently damage a child’s self-esteem. As marriage partners, we sometimes dump our hostilities on each other in ways that can destroy our relationship. We easily make gossip and spread it around. This gossip can still destroy our reputations and relationships.

In today’s Scripture, James says that we all make mistakes and we all stumble, but our most frequent failures happen when we are speaking. The tongue can destroy all the good that we have built up over a lifetime. While we have ministered for years and years and seen abundant fruit, if we fail to control the tongue, we can undo all the good we have built up in our years of ministry.

According to Genesis, from the creation of the world by the word of God, God has given dominion to humanity over all the animals. Human ingenuity has tamed wild creatures to make them useful. But no person, by himself can restrain the tongue. Furthermore, we can’t control the effects of our words. In tinder dry conditions, a forest fire can quickly burn out of control. Remember that words are like fire; they can neither control nor reverse the damage they do. Likewise, a gossip and rumor can take off and take on a life of its own.

A man had told so many malicious untruths about the local rabbi that, overcome by remorse, he begged the rabbi to forgive him. “And, Rabbi, tell me how I can make amends.” The rabbi sighed, “Take two pillows, go to the public square and there cut the pillows open. Wave them in the air. Then come back.” The rumor maker quickly went home, got two pillows and a knife, hastened to the square, cut the pillows open, waved them in the air and hastened back to the rabbi’s chambers. “I did just what you said, Rabbi!” “Good.” The rabbi smiled. “Now, to realize how much harm is done by gossip, go back to the square...” “And?” “And collect all your feathers.” The man replied, “That’s impossible! By now the wind will have blown them all over town!” Said the rabbi, “So has your slanderous word become impossible to retrieve.”

Think about Bits, rudder, and tongue… What do these things have in common? They are all small but very effective controllers—they each direct something much larger than themselves. Horses are larger and stronger than people, but they can be turned with a small bit in the mouth. Small things control much. As the bit, the rudder, and the spark, the tongue is a small but influential part of the body.

Satan uses the tongue to divide people and pit them against one another. The tongue is the source of all kinds of evil because of the damage it can cause in the world and bring to the rest of the Christian community. Idle words are damaging because they quickly spread destruction. We dare not be careless with our words, thinking that we can apologize later, because even when we do, the damage remains. A few words spoken in anger can destroy a relationship that took years to build.

The Rotary Club International recommends a four-way test of everything we think, say, or do: Is it the truth? Is it fair to all concerned? Will it build goodwill and better friendship? Will it be beneficial to all concerned? If a civic club can offer that kind of a rule for responsible action, the Christian must certainly be able to offer more. The ability to control the tongue is the mark of true maturity for the Christian.

What we say and what we don’t say are both important. Proper speech is not only saying the right words at the right time, it is also controlling our desire to say what we shouldn’t. Examples of an untamed tongue include: gossiping, belittling, cursing, bragging, manipulating, false teaching, exaggerating, complaining, flattering, and lying. Before speaking we should ask, “Is this what I really want to say? Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?”

In today’s Scripture, James knew that followers of Christ might be capable of both praise and cursing because of what he had observed in the disciples. Peter promised Christ, “I will not deny you” (Matthew 26:35), but then he denied Jesus with oaths and curses (Matthew 26:69-75). In 1 John 3:18, the apostle John says, “Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.” Earlier in his life, John was willing to call down fire to destroy a Samaritan village (Luke 9:51-56).

The deceitful, dual use of the tongue is the result of double-mindedness, fickleness, and the instability of a life that is ruled by impulse rather than by the love of God. The tongue reveals either maturity or immaturity. It gives a picture of our basic human nature, made in God’s image but fallen into sin.

James pictures the inner being, the heart, as a spring. Some springs had been contaminated by salty water, and some had gone brackish and foul. But others still bubbled up safe and clean water. Although different kinds of water will not bubble from the same opening, a Christian’s speech can be very inconsistent. One time we may speak in a way that honors God and another time in a way that gives Satan power to operate. We can choose how we will respond.
This past year, if someone had paid you ten dollars for every kind word you ever spoke about other people, and also collected five dollars for every unkind word, would you be rich or poor?

Our society encourages us to be great speakers and orators, totally disregarding the deadly impact our words may have. We are prone to make mistakes in our speech, we need to be even more careful to let God control what we say. It is one of life’s hardest and plainest duties to see that the tongue does not contradict itself but speaks only such words as we would wish God to hear.

Let me tell you a story. Two laymen were discussing the direction that a pastor’s sermons for several weeks had been taking. Apparently, one of the men felt quite satisfied with himself and where he was in his walk with the Lord. “I suppose the pastor will give another altar call next week, calling for further commitment of our lives. I’ll sure be glad when he finds something else to talk about.”

The other’s reply sent the pastor on his way with a song. “Well, I hope our pastor keeps preaching the deeper walk with the Lord. I want more and more of Him. When I get to heaven, I don’t want to have to pull out my wallet and show the Lord my driver’s license to prove who I am. I want Him to know me by the sound of my voice.” What a wonderful illustration for today’s Scripture. I hope all of us are recognized by the Lord by what we said and how we said it.

So what hope is there for taming the tongue? Here are some tips. First of all, Do not be a talkative person. There is an old Korean saying: Speech is silver and silence is gold. When we speak a lot, there are more chances that you will make a mistake with your tongue. Second, be a good listener. The ancient philosopher Zeno once said, “We have two ears and one mouth, therefore we should listen twice as much as we speak.” In my experience, a good pastor is not a good speaker, but a good listener. Third, try to say good and encouraging words, rather than criticism, gossip, or rumors. Since I began ministry at Moore’s Chapel, I found out that almost everyone in this congregation is connected to each other in some way. So, I make sure to say a good word about everyone. Lastly, think once more before you say anything. William Norris once said, “If your lips you would keep from slips, five things observe with care: To whom you speak; of whom you speak; and how, and when, and where.

However, we are helpless unless we get help. No person can tame the tongue perfectly, but Christ can. To do it, he goes straight for the heart. He will give us increasing power to monitor and control what we say. We can make sure we are in the Spirit’s control by incorporating Scripture into our life and by asking the Spirit to direct our thoughts, actions and words each day.

Christ’s attitude is for us to deal with our anger and frustration honestly and maturely but to use restraint in how we reveal these feeling to others. Instead of making excuses for sounding off, we can exercise restraint and allow God’s peace and wisdom to guide what we say. Paul taught that the whole body, including the tongue, ought to be considered a “living sacrifice” to God.

Only a renewed heart can produce pure speech. As the Holy Spirit purifies our heart, he gives us self-control so that we will speak words that please God. Only Christ can change us as God changed the bitter water for the people of Israel at Marah (Exodus15:23-25). He is capable of guiding our motivation, our thoughts, our very choice of words, and even the impact our communication has on others.

If the source of our thought and actions is the love of God in our life, then we will not be able to generate the kind of negative speech that James warns us against. Treat everything we say as a gift to another person. We should ask: “Are my words a gift that I truly want to leave in their hand?”

Controlling Your Tongue

Controlling Your Tongue - Audio Sermon On-line - Reverend KyungMo Koo